It has been 2 weeks. I don't know how long it's going to last.
Last week, I used to claim that, I should not check company email after working hours. I'm not able to do this very well yet. When I get online, I will still check company email. But before I logged in, I told myself, CHECK ONLY, DON'T GET AFFECTED BY ANY EMAIL, AND, NO WORK AFTER CHECKING!!
Sometimes I also find myself very funny. Last time, someone told me, a job is just like a lover. When people say wanna break off with you, there is no need to ask WHY. That time, I still argued with him, telling him, no, these two are slightly different.
Now, I gradually feel his saying is right. The feeling is just like, originally I love someone very much, but due to some reasons, I try all ways to stop my affection on the person by telling myself "you should not love this person".
On Thursday and Friday nights, I kept getting overseas calls and SMS while I was driving home. He is a sales person from my company. On Thursday, he sent me a RFP doc, asking me to go through and see if I've any question. The words such as "urgent", "quick" and "by tomorrow" appeared as usual. Thursday night, I logged in to download the doc, read through it and replied his email.
I didn't answer any of his calls. No reply to his SMS too.
Friday morning, after seeing my reply and having some chats, he told me, could you finish answering the RFP and come out with the quotation by today? I said I'd try my best, but didn't promise him anything. I'm the kind who wishes to submit only quality work. If there is any doubt, I wish to check with the relevant people first. Simply submitting something incomplete or not up-to-standard is not my style.
In between, he and another salesperson kept sending emails to me, asking if we could share server with another existing system, stressing that we should use Sun server instead of HP etc...
At around 5:30pm...
Me: I am not able to finish it today. There is something I need to further check. On Monday, I will give you the complete proposal and pricing.
He: Can you give me the draft first? If the partner keeps pressuring me then I can show him something.
Me: No problem, but please remember, never ever submit this. Otherwise, it might take us more effort to amend/explain in the future. I'm still amending the first draft. There is half hour more, I try to finish and send you before I leave.
As usual, I left company at 6pm on Friday, and drove about 2 hours back home. I got his calls again. Of course, I did not answer. I was driving. Later, few SMS arrived. He said he could not wait until Monday, must get it done by Saturday.
This is already not the first time we got such a short timeline to do something that is not simple. In the past, AC and I would still continue to work during weekends, in order to fulfill the requirements from sales people. But now, I already said to myself, work is work, personal time should not be filled with work. I've a lot of books to read, or I shall take good rest and get myself rejuvenated.
The key thing is, from what happened recently, I knew that sacrificing own time for work-related stuff actually will not get me anything in return. If I continue to fill my personal time with work, I'm sure one day I will regret, for have done nothing for myself but just for the company that does not belong to me.
When I reached home, I replied his SMS. I even lied that I was on a weekend trip, and would not have access to laptop and Internet. But he did not give up, kept asking this and that, wanting me to send a lot of info to him via SMS. That was 8pm Friday night.
Sorry to say, the last thing I chose to do was to ignore his SMS, to keep myself free of hassle and calm. I'm not interested to write proposal using mobile phone.
How many times, I wish to tell them, I'm not a superman. It's impossible for me to "comply with" your truly short deadline. Perhaps last time there was one (my boss), but my ability is definitely still very far away from the superman. In fact, I was not so confident to handle a RFP by myself this time, especially the pricing part. In the past, I always had AC doing together with me.
To other teams in the company, they might not know what my team is doing. I joined this team coz the ex-senior who interviewed me, told me that this is the most challenging team and could learn the fastest. I was daring enough to accept the job offer without any GSM knowledge.
According to my limited experience, we are just like the middle persons between internal and external parties. When facing clients, we need to capture their requirements and understand their point of view. In the meantime, we also need to understand the point of view of the internal teams. Honestly, it's not easy to get a balance between both parties, but this is what I've to do.
For example, in a recent project, Sales proposed sharing of server with another existing system, to reduce the price by eliminating a machine (final objective is to get awarded with the project). If you ask our engineer, you would know how much hassle had this sharing of server created. "Say to share" is easy, but in fact it involves a lot of network and routing issues which were previously neglected.
Also, in a kickoff meeting, the customer specifically requested not to use Server Type A, due to their bad previous experience. After rounds of persuasion, eventually still no choice, we had got to change. When dealing with internal colleagues, we received email asking "excuse me, why the servers are of Brand B?". We had to apologize and explain to internal people.
When I was in university, I studied about the conflict between technical and business people. Now, I really understand the theory I learned from textbook.
All this while, I told myself, I accepted this job coz it's challenging. I cannot simply quit just coz of these challenges. Furthermore, my boss was a A++ role model to learn thing from. If I keep staying and learning, I'll be the one benefiting the most. The valuable knowledge and experience will be all mine.
Such thinking is still rooted in my mind, yet something has changed. After indulging in a utopia or dream for so long, it's time for me to wake up, get back my personal time and enrich it with more meaningful activities.
Therefore, please do not ask me to work over weekend.



















