Dream and Reality
Today, I had lunch with friends who are currently, or used to be in the mass media industry.
Found that I realize the truth of some sayings only now, after about 8 years.
When I have just finished my high school, within 1 week after SPM, I was already in Penang, attending the foundation course at Han Chiang College. Prior to finishing my secondary studies, I've found myself the information to further studies, and was sure that, I wanted to study Journalism.
It's kinda sarcastic. When I was 9 years old, I watched a movie: an athlete got injured and needed emergency aid. The reporters kept taking her photos and asked lotsa questions. At that moment, I thought, what the hell are the journalists doing? They are so inconsiderate! I hate them!
However, at the age of 17, I was so determined that, I wanted to be a reporter, and I wanted to study journalism.
This could be due to the years of my Form 4 and 5 helped me realize that, I'm not the scientific type of person. I dislike Physics, Biology and Chemistry. I had suffered for 2 years and did not wish to continue. Also, I didn't wanna study STPM. I knew if I just followed the common flow, be admitted to a local uni, UTM, and took the so-called dream course (people's dream but definitely not mine), I'd be in deep shit. I could never excel in my studies, and the final result would be, I lose my confidence.
What's the meaning of life when I'm not confident at all? (It sucks...)
FYI, I had frequent disputes with my mum with regards to this issue.
I had been writing extensively and earned "secret" money by submitting articles to publications, such as newspapers, magazines and some small competitions, before I was 17. The highest I used to gain from writing was only RM300. Although not much, I knew writing is really my cup of tea and the non-monetary satisfaction was my great pleasure. Therefore, I decided to study journalism.
During the 4 months foundation course, few lecturers approached me and advised me to think twice. They said, are you sure you wanna study Mass Comm? That's Art. Your results are good. You should continue in Science stream. Switching from Science to Art is easy, but once you are in Art, the choice becomes very limited. Among the many lecturers, one was Mr Beh, someone I respect quite a lot.
I've gone through some dilemma. Finally, I studied both, since the college was willing to give me a full scholarship. I didn't know how to choose, then I chose both. Others studied 6 subjects per semester, but I took up 8-9 subjects. My two years in college were really hectic. I went to college almost 7 days a week.
Apart from usual studies and assignments, I led the campus and graduation magazines. During the publication period when others could take a rest, I still had to deal with Kwong Wah Yit Poh to settle the printing issues. Besides, we did some feature writing for China Press too, to gain industry experience. But by doing more, I really learnt a lot. I was happily busy.
I was also more likely to mix with MC coursemates. My relationship with my IT coursemates was not that close. It was lucky that I was not boycotted by the IT group.
Later, I furthered my IT studies to Bachelor Degree, Postgrad Cert then Honours Degree (which if you obtain a First Class, it's equivalent to Master Degree, and could directly proceed to PhD).
Since the day I graduated from uni, I've been working in the IT field. I still like writing, particularly in Chinese, but I never have the guts to be a journalist. The reason is just because, the pay is too low. I can't accept. Would you accept your pay to be 50% or less than what you are getting now?
I could only accept earning, for example, AUD100 becomes RM100, since the living expenses here in Malaysia are much lower than in Australia. But for sure not a decreased amount.
Honestly, I always feel jealous at my friends working in the media industry, when the money issue is not thought of. Perhaps writing and maintaining this blog is a way for me to fill the gap in my heart.
I knew the pay working in the media industry is not high, but when we really talked about the figure, only I realized it was much lower than I thought. For example, an ex-coursemate (with Diploma qualification) who has worked for 6 years is having only RM1200 as the basic salary. The offer during the 1st year was RM860. She needs to depend on OT to earn more, and getting RM2000 a month is NOT common (allowances included).
Even you have a Degree qualification and less than 5 years of working experience, you are only paid around RM1500 to be an editor. These are the market prices in Penang (for Chinese newspapers). In KL/Selangor, it's slightly higher. When I heard of these figures, I didn't know how to react.
Today, I felt kinda sad when I asked about some very excellent juniors and knew that, they either experienced huge difficulties in job search, or they almost had a negative figure (amount earned couldn't afford the amount spent). You know, you at least need to buy a car and PC, with your own money, when you just started working as a reporter.
In short, they are talented but life doesn't give them much chance to fully utilize their talents. (I worked with them before, and pretty sure with their capability.)
When we are young, we talk only about our dreams, our wannabes. The real life is a bit faraway and will not be taken into consideration. When we get older (just like me now), we know pure dream is not realistic. Of course I don't mean we should not dream, but we had better dream with certain extent of "foundation", which allows your life to go on with no hassle.
Nowadays, I clearly know that, I didn't work as hard as I was while in college, that's why I didn't excel as much as when I was a student. I'm unsure of the reason:
Dream and reality, they are just faraway from each other, but it seems that we should be realistic. At least, I think I'm still the realistic one. I fulfill my dream only by using my off-work personal time. Perhaps it's like this:
1. My full-time job secures me a stable life.
2. My leisure writing adds happiness, satisfaction and more meaning to the stable life.
Both are essential while nothing is perfect. How many of our dream can really come ture?
Do you ever let go your dream due to the reality?
Found that I realize the truth of some sayings only now, after about 8 years.
When I have just finished my high school, within 1 week after SPM, I was already in Penang, attending the foundation course at Han Chiang College. Prior to finishing my secondary studies, I've found myself the information to further studies, and was sure that, I wanted to study Journalism.
It's kinda sarcastic. When I was 9 years old, I watched a movie: an athlete got injured and needed emergency aid. The reporters kept taking her photos and asked lotsa questions. At that moment, I thought, what the hell are the journalists doing? They are so inconsiderate! I hate them!
However, at the age of 17, I was so determined that, I wanted to be a reporter, and I wanted to study journalism.
This could be due to the years of my Form 4 and 5 helped me realize that, I'm not the scientific type of person. I dislike Physics, Biology and Chemistry. I had suffered for 2 years and did not wish to continue. Also, I didn't wanna study STPM. I knew if I just followed the common flow, be admitted to a local uni, UTM, and took the so-called dream course (people's dream but definitely not mine), I'd be in deep shit. I could never excel in my studies, and the final result would be, I lose my confidence.
What's the meaning of life when I'm not confident at all? (It sucks...)
FYI, I had frequent disputes with my mum with regards to this issue.
I had been writing extensively and earned "secret" money by submitting articles to publications, such as newspapers, magazines and some small competitions, before I was 17. The highest I used to gain from writing was only RM300. Although not much, I knew writing is really my cup of tea and the non-monetary satisfaction was my great pleasure. Therefore, I decided to study journalism.
During the 4 months foundation course, few lecturers approached me and advised me to think twice. They said, are you sure you wanna study Mass Comm? That's Art. Your results are good. You should continue in Science stream. Switching from Science to Art is easy, but once you are in Art, the choice becomes very limited. Among the many lecturers, one was Mr Beh, someone I respect quite a lot.
I've gone through some dilemma. Finally, I studied both, since the college was willing to give me a full scholarship. I didn't know how to choose, then I chose both. Others studied 6 subjects per semester, but I took up 8-9 subjects. My two years in college were really hectic. I went to college almost 7 days a week.
Apart from usual studies and assignments, I led the campus and graduation magazines. During the publication period when others could take a rest, I still had to deal with Kwong Wah Yit Poh to settle the printing issues. Besides, we did some feature writing for China Press too, to gain industry experience. But by doing more, I really learnt a lot. I was happily busy.
I was also more likely to mix with MC coursemates. My relationship with my IT coursemates was not that close. It was lucky that I was not boycotted by the IT group.
Later, I furthered my IT studies to Bachelor Degree, Postgrad Cert then Honours Degree (which if you obtain a First Class, it's equivalent to Master Degree, and could directly proceed to PhD).
Since the day I graduated from uni, I've been working in the IT field. I still like writing, particularly in Chinese, but I never have the guts to be a journalist. The reason is just because, the pay is too low. I can't accept. Would you accept your pay to be 50% or less than what you are getting now?
I could only accept earning, for example, AUD100 becomes RM100, since the living expenses here in Malaysia are much lower than in Australia. But for sure not a decreased amount.
Honestly, I always feel jealous at my friends working in the media industry, when the money issue is not thought of. Perhaps writing and maintaining this blog is a way for me to fill the gap in my heart.
I knew the pay working in the media industry is not high, but when we really talked about the figure, only I realized it was much lower than I thought. For example, an ex-coursemate (with Diploma qualification) who has worked for 6 years is having only RM1200 as the basic salary. The offer during the 1st year was RM860. She needs to depend on OT to earn more, and getting RM2000 a month is NOT common (allowances included).
Even you have a Degree qualification and less than 5 years of working experience, you are only paid around RM1500 to be an editor. These are the market prices in Penang (for Chinese newspapers). In KL/Selangor, it's slightly higher. When I heard of these figures, I didn't know how to react.
Today, I felt kinda sad when I asked about some very excellent juniors and knew that, they either experienced huge difficulties in job search, or they almost had a negative figure (amount earned couldn't afford the amount spent). You know, you at least need to buy a car and PC, with your own money, when you just started working as a reporter.
In short, they are talented but life doesn't give them much chance to fully utilize their talents. (I worked with them before, and pretty sure with their capability.)
When we are young, we talk only about our dreams, our wannabes. The real life is a bit faraway and will not be taken into consideration. When we get older (just like me now), we know pure dream is not realistic. Of course I don't mean we should not dream, but we had better dream with certain extent of "foundation", which allows your life to go on with no hassle.
Nowadays, I clearly know that, I didn't work as hard as I was while in college, that's why I didn't excel as much as when I was a student. I'm unsure of the reason:
- coz I'm working on something which is not my first choice? or
- coz doctors used to tell me not to work too hard, not to pressure myself too much, and to have very sufficient sleep (due to my skin problem and health)?
Dream and reality, they are just faraway from each other, but it seems that we should be realistic. At least, I think I'm still the realistic one. I fulfill my dream only by using my off-work personal time. Perhaps it's like this:
1. My full-time job secures me a stable life.
2. My leisure writing adds happiness, satisfaction and more meaning to the stable life.
Both are essential while nothing is perfect. How many of our dream can really come ture?
Do you ever let go your dream due to the reality?
Photos taken during my college time,
full of events, reporting and photography!
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6 comments:
Mm...When i was still a little girl, i dreamt of being a lot of things. One was being a doctor but i realise i hate to memorise facts like biological terms. And the most important thing was that my parents can't really afford to pay my fees. So i'm taking up a scholarship doing something I initially had no interest in at all but am getting more and more interested in. So thank God I'm getting on with what I'm studying.
A dream is a big motivation. To do what you always dream is such a beautiful thing. But sometimes a dream is better by remaining as one cuz reality hurts. but if one stays in a dream too long without getting any further, it hurts even more.
I concur that what we want and reality can be worlds apart.
Like most boys my age, I have always loved computers and anything related to it. Hence I was pretty sure I would be working in that field when I grew up. But for the same reason like you had regarding journalism, I chose a different career path.
No regrets on my part as I love my current job. It enable's me to buy the latest gadgetry that I could lay my hands on. So not really complaining... haha.
I remembered I wrote "journalist" in the "ambition" column when I was in Standard 4. Throughout the years my ambitions changed frequently, as I was not sure what I wanted to be. Finally, I ended up studying Mass Comm majoring in Journalism; and now, here I am as a journalist, someone I've never thought I would be.
Being a journalist is fun, but at the same time also tiring. Also, if you're not from a rich family, don't work for the Chinese papers. They pay pathetic salary, and the increment is SLOOOOOW... That was why I rejected Sin Chew when they offered me a job at RM1,400 in 2005. I don't know how one will survive in KL with that salary.
If you really like reporting, work for English papers. They pay much more, and the benefits and allowances are better. Increment is also fast if you perform well. Although I don't earn big, but it's sufficient enough for me to live a relatively comfortable life.
flying fish, chee hoe and kun,
i'm touched with all your heartfelt sharing of experience, and the willingness to write long.
used to experience that, when something looks so good, when we really approach/get it, only realize that it's actually just okay.
i'm also happy with my current job. most importantly it doesn't take up all my time/energy till i couldn't have the leisure to "dream". some things are the best if you can never get them.
but i really feel lucky that i had & accepted the advice from those lecturers, 8 years ago. otherwise, i dunno who am i today.
kun, SC offered u RM1.4K for editor or reporter? my friend said, 10 years ago, she was offered RM1420 (reporter) + RM450 (petrol allowance). no increment in 10 years time?
They offered me RM1.4k for reporter, for the international news desk. Working hours 12 noon to 10pm. That time I didn't drive, so they offered me public transport allowance of RM210 only. I forgot how much the petrol allowance was if I chose to drive, but definitely below RM450. Seriously, the Chinese papers should really "review" their pay system. It's not much different from "oppression".
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