A Daughter Says
Short Note: I'm very tired today, due to the bad quality sleep last night. Left office at 7pm, came back and continued with work till 9pm. I told myself, I must stop!! There is still some time before the meeting tomorrow. FYI, Haan is not someone who likes to bring work home. Most of the time, her laptop stays in the office drawer.
This afternoon, after a quick lunch, I went to Maxis for a meeting, together with the Project Manager (PM), Andrew.
We had to register ourselves and pass our Identity Cards to the security guard, to get a visitor pass. Then, I realized that I didn't have my purse with me!! I must have left it at hometown. I did feel something wrong before I departed from home early this morning, but the answer came out only 8 hours later.
Luckily, I was allowed to get the pass by having only Andrew handed in his IC.
My dad found that the purse was left on a book rack. I was "too careful" the day before (Sunday), putting it at somewhere not obvious, till I totally forgot about it!!
My mum got to know this as well. I was thinking, sigh, I have to go home again after work to get the purse, and should I come back again tonight, or tomorrow morning? This would result in about 200km additional travel, and I was seriously lack of sleep. However, I had no choice. I'm not gonna loiter around with no IC and only the money in the 2 Ang Pows given by colleagues. I also don't have any ATM or credit card with me.
When I went back to office, I told my senior how careless have I been. She kindly replied, "then you had better leave earlier since you need to drive back to hometown".
Later, I got a SMS from my mum, saying she's going into Puncak Alam and will let me know when she arrives at Shah Alam. I replied that I could go back and stay for another night in Sekinchan. Nonetheless, I realized something after replying. I re-read her text message.
GOING INTO Puncak Alam?? That means she had traveled at least 60km, for at least 1 hour!! And she's about to reach!!
Honestly, at that moment, I was so touched till I couldn't control my tears from rolling in my eyes, then down to the cheeks. I went to the washroom, to get over the "session". I felt sorry to her too. My silly carelessness made her traveled so far.
I do not like to drive. Sometimes I feel very unbelievable having to go Shah Alam 6 days a week (sending my younger bro back to his school on Saturday). I don't love the place that much!! But I just had to go there.
Once, my elder bro was having small operation at the Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC), which is not far from Shah Alam (so it's also about 100+km away from my hometown). As usual, I went home after Friday's work. The next day, my mum kept on suggesting to go visit my elder bro at the hospital (he did say no need to go visit him). Due to the unwillingness to travel, I kept on persuading her not to go, since my bro already said visit is not necessary.
That Sunday, my mum claimed that she had something to do at her school. She finally ended up going to visit my elder bro at the hospital by herself, disclosing the "secret" to me only after she came back, and showed me the photo of my bro taken at the hospital.
My mum had to tell a lie to her daughter in order to visit her son at the hospital. This sounds funny, right? And that was all BECAUSE OF ME!!
Sometimes I really can't believe I've been SO BAD although I really didn't mean to be so. But, the fact is, I've really been THAT BAD.
Yes, I don't like to drive, especially today is Monday. But I told myself, I've to pay the price for being careless. I really never expect that my mum would travel all way down to just pass me the purse. REALLY REALLY NEVER EXPECT!
I was extremely touched.
I think the best thing I've learned over the years being overseas is, we should not take things for granted. I always tell myself, nobody has the obligation to help me. If they do, that's a bonus. If they don't, that's just something "supposed to be".
To many others, maybe you will think I'm overacting.
My mum's kindness reduced my travel distance from 200km to 10km. Perhaps you can't imagine how much I appreciate this. Even when I drove 30km back from office just now, I almost dozed off in the car.
There have been quite some people that treated me so well, made me touched, till I shed my tears. However, I clearly know that, only my family will do that for me, forever, unconditionally.
Apart from not making them worry about my studies and job, I've not really been a good daughter. I'm very selfish and self-centered, always thinking only about myself. When I faced problems or frustrations outside, only I would think of my home and go back.
I achieved a lot of things, but I do not accomplish the basics. I don't even know how to love my family, being a good daughter and sister.
I hope I'd learn that soon, and master it.
This afternoon, after a quick lunch, I went to Maxis for a meeting, together with the Project Manager (PM), Andrew.
We had to register ourselves and pass our Identity Cards to the security guard, to get a visitor pass. Then, I realized that I didn't have my purse with me!! I must have left it at hometown. I did feel something wrong before I departed from home early this morning, but the answer came out only 8 hours later.
Luckily, I was allowed to get the pass by having only Andrew handed in his IC.
Dad, are you at home?
Nope. I'm outside.
When you get home, can you please help me check if my purse is on the xx table?
Okay. I'm going back now. Will check for you.
But you don't call me okay? I'm having a meeting now. I will call you later.
Okay.
My dad found that the purse was left on a book rack. I was "too careful" the day before (Sunday), putting it at somewhere not obvious, till I totally forgot about it!!
My mum got to know this as well. I was thinking, sigh, I have to go home again after work to get the purse, and should I come back again tonight, or tomorrow morning? This would result in about 200km additional travel, and I was seriously lack of sleep. However, I had no choice. I'm not gonna loiter around with no IC and only the money in the 2 Ang Pows given by colleagues. I also don't have any ATM or credit card with me.
When I went back to office, I told my senior how careless have I been. She kindly replied, "then you had better leave earlier since you need to drive back to hometown".
Later, I got a SMS from my mum, saying she's going into Puncak Alam and will let me know when she arrives at Shah Alam. I replied that I could go back and stay for another night in Sekinchan. Nonetheless, I realized something after replying. I re-read her text message.
GOING INTO Puncak Alam?? That means she had traveled at least 60km, for at least 1 hour!! And she's about to reach!!
Honestly, at that moment, I was so touched till I couldn't control my tears from rolling in my eyes, then down to the cheeks. I went to the washroom, to get over the "session". I felt sorry to her too. My silly carelessness made her traveled so far.
I do not like to drive. Sometimes I feel very unbelievable having to go Shah Alam 6 days a week (sending my younger bro back to his school on Saturday). I don't love the place that much!! But I just had to go there.
Once, my elder bro was having small operation at the Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC), which is not far from Shah Alam (so it's also about 100+km away from my hometown). As usual, I went home after Friday's work. The next day, my mum kept on suggesting to go visit my elder bro at the hospital (he did say no need to go visit him). Due to the unwillingness to travel, I kept on persuading her not to go, since my bro already said visit is not necessary.
That Sunday, my mum claimed that she had something to do at her school. She finally ended up going to visit my elder bro at the hospital by herself, disclosing the "secret" to me only after she came back, and showed me the photo of my bro taken at the hospital.
My mum had to tell a lie to her daughter in order to visit her son at the hospital. This sounds funny, right? And that was all BECAUSE OF ME!!
Sometimes I really can't believe I've been SO BAD although I really didn't mean to be so. But, the fact is, I've really been THAT BAD.
Yes, I don't like to drive, especially today is Monday. But I told myself, I've to pay the price for being careless. I really never expect that my mum would travel all way down to just pass me the purse. REALLY REALLY NEVER EXPECT!
I was extremely touched.
I think the best thing I've learned over the years being overseas is, we should not take things for granted. I always tell myself, nobody has the obligation to help me. If they do, that's a bonus. If they don't, that's just something "supposed to be".
To many others, maybe you will think I'm overacting.
My mum's kindness reduced my travel distance from 200km to 10km. Perhaps you can't imagine how much I appreciate this. Even when I drove 30km back from office just now, I almost dozed off in the car.
There have been quite some people that treated me so well, made me touched, till I shed my tears. However, I clearly know that, only my family will do that for me, forever, unconditionally.
Apart from not making them worry about my studies and job, I've not really been a good daughter. I'm very selfish and self-centered, always thinking only about myself. When I faced problems or frustrations outside, only I would think of my home and go back.
I achieved a lot of things, but I do not accomplish the basics. I don't even know how to love my family, being a good daughter and sister.
I hope I'd learn that soon, and master it.
17 comments:
whoah that was a really touching entry.. the part that hit me was
"I always tell myself, nobody has the obligation to help me. If they do, that's a bonus. If they don't, that's just something "supposed to be" "
whoah, this is something i should really learn! ive always seem to expect things from people which i think is really silly after reading this entry. gosh, thx for the reminder or should i say, imparting such good advice.
also, yes, it was extremely sweet of your mother to drive all the way for you =) whoah, im just at awe though, how strong willed your mother is =) she loves you a lot of course..
i sometimes get surprised myself how my own mother can sacrifice soo much for me and ask for nothing in return, indeed it makes me feel bad when i do things that would probably embarrass her or make her unhappy.. but i somehow know at the back of my head that mothers dont seem to mind because whatever we learn from experiences like what you went through.. we will use it on our own children in future =)
thx for sharing your inspiring experience =) it certainly made me think!
hugs.
Hey Haan,
this is a very inspiring entry.
You know, I never fail to be amaze by how our mothers could sacrifice so much for us. The sacrifices are really unconditional and they would not complain bout it. Nor would they say anything until things has been done.
Sometimes, this make me feels that I would never be a good mother in the future...
so, be a good girl next time.
Hey, parents can go the extra miles just to help us out. There is no textbook to teach us how to be a good daughter/son, all we can do is try our best to love them without any condition.
raising mercury, very impressed with your long comment and heartfelt writing. thanks for having the patience to finish reading, coz most of the time, people will skip when they first see the length :)
when i was overseas last time, family was not around. all friends were newly known. when needing help, no one around will come automatically to me. need to ask, request, worry if people will reject.
that time, realized that while in msia, i had got so much bonus, but never really appreciate them (they came too easily hence we might not really see their importance).
want to drive, there's a car. want to move, there is a place to go. created/faced problem, people will come and help. all these were the bonuses!!
whilst in aus, a lot of thing i've to settle myself. till nowadays, when i saw a colleague depends on the agent to find accommodation in melbourne (whilst i've given her few contact info), i couldn't understand why she didn't want to do it by herself :)
in short, we need to go through some hard time, tough moments, only we realize the existing good things/people around. when you really go through it, you'll know ^_^
the day will come, i believe.
flying fish, maybe when u become a mum one day, you'll understand and be amazed of how much you can sacrifice for your kids too. there are a lot of things which without we undergo them ourselves, we never know.
johnny, will try my best.
adrian, got it. i'm discovering more and more nowadays :) and trying to do my best. hope i will not just be "thinking" but do improve from time to time.
Wow...you just hit me there.
I called back home after reading your post! Thanks for the push..
3.8, u know that when i was in aus, averagely, i didn't call home more than 5 times in a year. but i wrote emails :)
I stoped taking my parents for granted when my mom got diagnose with ovarian cyst. That was when i realised that i took them for granted and when there may be a chance that they may leave us, we panic and don't really know how to hang on.
Cherish your parents cause they won't be with you forever.
i like lotus,,,,especially the soup. hehe
I won't say "parents" would do anything for their children. But I would say "mother" would do anything for their children. Mother/Woman is always greater than father/man. Father seems to be the one taking care of the family but very often, when crisis arises, father tends to escape but mother will shoulder the entire responsibility to support the family. You may disagree with me but a lot of stories have proven man tends to run away when crisis arises.
Yen,
I do agree to your description of fathers if your talking about the traditional fathers, but I think if you talk about current generation of men, then I would say that many dad's are more motherly now. We see man cooking for the family quite frequent now among man. This never occured during the dad of yester-years.
Men are taking more involvement in the upbrigging of their children.
Fathers are definately catching up! We are not far behind :)
I should appreciate ... I should appreciate ... and I should. I felt bad when I read your post ... I think i'm not a good son to my parent. I decided to left them in PG and pursue my happiness at oversea especailly when they needs me. I still have 23 days before my departure. Sob sob ... Haan, you make me feeling bad la : (
CP, not meant to make u finally not going to UK.. but that's really how I feel, and I just write according to my feeling. Someone used to tell me, treasure/cherish it doesn't mean we have to be always physically together. Even you are far away, you can also cherish it. Don't you think so?
chee hoe, yes, we always realize something only when bad things happen.
kun & CH, everyone has different experience, and i believe what you say is based mostly on own encounters. everything has its exception. appreciate the sharing of your thoughts on this matter. we get to see from different angles.
fattien, i thought you gave a credit on the photos taken.. who knows... :)
kun, really can't say i totally agree with the statement "I would say 'mother' would do anything for their children" coz there is news about mum killing own daughter together with boyfriend.
maybe I should admit I was a bit emotional when writing my comment yesterday. yes, indeed there are good mothers and bad ones, as well as good fathers and bad ones.
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