30 Years Old (1)
Short Note: Feel good having the chance to listen to FM988 most of the time (esp during late night), and be exposed to a lot of old and new nice songs. Thanks mum for buying me the radio, after I simply mentioned that I had the intention.
I wrote a post titled 30 Years Old before, wondering if people set it as a major milestone in life. Thanks to all of them who have taken their time to share their thoughts, although I'm unsure if all my doubts in mind have been cleared.
Some time ago, Wooi Yee recommended me to read a blog, Gorilla & Banana. The owner/author always has his articles published in Sin Chew Jit Poh. I know who exactly the author is (I mean his real name), although I don't know him in person.
I then did the same to Sam, and he finished reading ALL posts in just one night. My speed is much slower hence I've not been able to finish them. He then told me the following:
I read the post and now sharing it here.
嘿，男人
我跟P說，男孩子是到30歲以後才長大變成男人的。
她問我為什麼，我啜了口紅酒，開始回憶我30歲以前的樣態。我不需要太長時間回憶，我總是晚熟；跟青春期的狀況一樣，男生學會的那幾件事，我都很晚才理解並去實踐，然後自得其樂的認為自已終於變成一個大男生了。
但是男人是另一回事，不是突然學會了一些什麼事，就突然變身的──那是實實在在的歲月洗禮。
如果沒有莫名其妙爬上今天的位子，沒有實際跟女朋友進入生活的層次，沒有學會療傷的能力，沒有覺悟抽煙喝酒並不是罪錯的事，沒有突然有一天覺得有些事做不到也沒有關係，沒有很愛自己；我今天一定還是個大男生，而且會以為自己已經是個男人。
最近因為要處理房子，跟銀行開始有接觸（除了提錢提錢提錢和還債還債還債，終於有了第三項）；在銀行工作的朋友，像在告訴我大型工廠運作流程一樣，跟我分析我相當無能的數字問題。
他的口一開一闔，我的臉沒有皺一下，只覺得有一種踏實的感覺。
我一定曾經口口聲聲跟許多朋友說過，我根本沒有想過買房子的事情。那個時候，我的家還在世界的某個角落，我堅信有一天我一定會遇上它，又或者它根本只在某個地方等著我；我在自己身上貼上“旅者”的標籤，並且很自豪。
喔……那真的不是很久以前的事。
看著一個個朋友成家，我其實沒有多羡慕；朋友都說，付房租倒不如拿去供房子，我的思緒並沒有真的往那個方向流動。我只是想要一個依靠，一件三十幾歲男人非常需要的東西。
剛來到吉隆坡的時候，我住在一個擺下床墊和一個三層櫃之後就只剩下一個人站的位子的倉庫，門只能打開一半的香港國宅，從家外頭要開5道門才能到房間的小窩（噢，應該連“窩”都算不上）。50塊的房租，可以讓我睡覺和女朋友溫存，大概也就夠了。我在裡面挨了兩年。
後來換了搬幾次家，我仍然過著像宿舍似的生活；沒有特別想留在家的衝動，東西總是擺滿一地。而我，總是離開地面生活。
人家都說，30歲是男人的花樣年華，是踩油疾駛的年級；那是當然的囉！所以我才會開始想要一個加油站。我不想再因為找不到停車位，而被迫一直棲身在駕駛座上。
家，讓我這個三十歲的男人突然自己又把生命中不足的一塊給補上了；至少，有了車子、房子，就差一個子了。這大概就是一個三十幾男人的膚淺了吧，哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！
Haha, how do you feel after reading?
Was chatting with a friend that day. According to him, in the past 12 years, he spent only about 2 years in Malaysia, due to studying overseas, then always flying around for work. Nowadays, he still keeps saying, here and there are his dream places to go.
I told him, you actually wish to go around instead of to settle down. However, in the meantime, you keep buying houses. Buying the properties is just the way you TRY to make yourself stay here in Malaysia.
He admitted - the fact is exactly like what I say (sorry, sometimes I'm quite scary in disclosing FACTS).
He does have some pressure from his family, especially when he's the only son.
In this aspect, perhaps I'm a luckier one compared to him. At least I feel I can still do whatever I think I'm happy with.
Life is never easy. The fact of life never changes.
I wrote a post titled 30 Years Old before, wondering if people set it as a major milestone in life. Thanks to all of them who have taken their time to share their thoughts, although I'm unsure if all my doubts in mind have been cleared.
Some time ago, Wooi Yee recommended me to read a blog, Gorilla & Banana. The owner/author always has his articles published in Sin Chew Jit Poh. I know who exactly the author is (I mean his real name), although I don't know him in person.
I then did the same to Sam, and he finished reading ALL posts in just one night. My speed is much slower hence I've not been able to finish them. He then told me the following:
I read the post and now sharing it here.
嘿，男人
我跟P說，男孩子是到30歲以後才長大變成男人的。
她問我為什麼，我啜了口紅酒，開始回憶我30歲以前的樣態。我不需要太長時間回憶，我總是晚熟；跟青春期的狀況一樣，男生學會的那幾件事，我都很晚才理解並去實踐，然後自得其樂的認為自已終於變成一個大男生了。
但是男人是另一回事，不是突然學會了一些什麼事，就突然變身的──那是實實在在的歲月洗禮。
如果沒有莫名其妙爬上今天的位子，沒有實際跟女朋友進入生活的層次，沒有學會療傷的能力，沒有覺悟抽煙喝酒並不是罪錯的事，沒有突然有一天覺得有些事做不到也沒有關係，沒有很愛自己；我今天一定還是個大男生，而且會以為自己已經是個男人。
最近因為要處理房子，跟銀行開始有接觸（除了提錢提錢提錢和還債還債還債，終於有了第三項）；在銀行工作的朋友，像在告訴我大型工廠運作流程一樣，跟我分析我相當無能的數字問題。
他的口一開一闔，我的臉沒有皺一下，只覺得有一種踏實的感覺。
我一定曾經口口聲聲跟許多朋友說過，我根本沒有想過買房子的事情。那個時候，我的家還在世界的某個角落，我堅信有一天我一定會遇上它，又或者它根本只在某個地方等著我；我在自己身上貼上“旅者”的標籤，並且很自豪。
喔……那真的不是很久以前的事。
看著一個個朋友成家，我其實沒有多羡慕；朋友都說，付房租倒不如拿去供房子，我的思緒並沒有真的往那個方向流動。我只是想要一個依靠，一件三十幾歲男人非常需要的東西。
剛來到吉隆坡的時候，我住在一個擺下床墊和一個三層櫃之後就只剩下一個人站的位子的倉庫，門只能打開一半的香港國宅，從家外頭要開5道門才能到房間的小窩（噢，應該連“窩”都算不上）。50塊的房租，可以讓我睡覺和女朋友溫存，大概也就夠了。我在裡面挨了兩年。
後來換了搬幾次家，我仍然過著像宿舍似的生活；沒有特別想留在家的衝動，東西總是擺滿一地。而我，總是離開地面生活。
人家都說，30歲是男人的花樣年華，是踩油疾駛的年級；那是當然的囉！所以我才會開始想要一個加油站。我不想再因為找不到停車位，而被迫一直棲身在駕駛座上。
家，讓我這個三十歲的男人突然自己又把生命中不足的一塊給補上了；至少，有了車子、房子，就差一個子了。這大概就是一個三十幾男人的膚淺了吧，哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！
Haha, how do you feel after reading?
Was chatting with a friend that day. According to him, in the past 12 years, he spent only about 2 years in Malaysia, due to studying overseas, then always flying around for work. Nowadays, he still keeps saying, here and there are his dream places to go.
I told him, you actually wish to go around instead of to settle down. However, in the meantime, you keep buying houses. Buying the properties is just the way you TRY to make yourself stay here in Malaysia.
He admitted - the fact is exactly like what I say (sorry, sometimes I'm quite scary in disclosing FACTS).
He does have some pressure from his family, especially when he's the only son.
In this aspect, perhaps I'm a luckier one compared to him. At least I feel I can still do whatever I think I'm happy with.
Life is never easy. The fact of life never changes.
2 comments:
我认为人生在三十过后才算真正开始。
我只是觉得时间过得很快很快。。。
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