Half Year Review

Today is the last day of June. This means half of the year 2009 is already gone.

How fast is it!! Hard to believe, but have to believe.

This year, I always feel like I'm achieving nothing.


At work, not many things are under my control, e.g. answer how many RFP, go to how many overseas countries, successfully been awarded how many projects etc. I could just see how's the flow of everything and adapt to it. Meanwhile, try my best in everything I do, try to absorb the most from my boss from time to time.

Personally, finally I got to visit Bali, a place which has been in my heart for years. I wish to do my Advanced Open Water, but nothing has come true yet. Shame to say, not even a leisure dive has been done.

I could remember during this time last year, I was still learning diving hard, practicing swimming often. Feel like this year I've not been very determined in doing something, achieving something. Not sure if as I grow older, I've become less courageous in trying new things.

Consequently, nothing amazing have I achieved in this half year.


Just now, a question popped up in my mind:

When we grow older and gaining more experiences in life, do we get more courageous, or we become more timid?

生活的历练，理应让人更加勇往直前，抑或犹豫不决？

This evening, Kun shared with me that she has got the confirmation letter that a Chevening scholarship is awarded to her to study in UK. I congratulated her of course. I know she has been trying hard to perform well in each stage.

I feel very jealous towards Kun, for having the chance to go out and experience another kind of life. But if you ask me whether I wanna continue studies nowadays, my answer is NO. I feel I learn more from working.

For myself, I'm also having a lot of plans, such as to go working holiday at Country A and Country B. These plans have to be carried out before I turn 30 (pre-requisites of visa application). Meaning, I've to leave the country and the current job for my so-called "life plans".


This year, for some reasons, I made up a mind to continue working here, giving up the good stuff in Australia. I'm not sure if in the future, I will continue to cancel my plans.

Sometimes I really miss the time when I was young. I just did what I wish without thinking and pondering too much, till the extent that there is no room for an idea to cancel.

And sometimes I think... after undergoing more in my life, I'm supposed to become a better me, knowing my direction clearer, and achieve more. However, seems like I tend to cancel plans when I grow older.

How sad is the fact.

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